zombimonkee

absofuckinglutelywonderful

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 06:54:42 GMT

Gah~ here I am freezing my ass, toes, and fingers off wondering why it is so bloody fucking cold in the house when my father has the heat on and I discover the reason... the heat is only set to 58. Seriously... what the fuck? Its bad enough that when its like 70 outside when I come home the house is still frigid. Man he can be an inconsiderate cunt sometimes.

...annoying day.

Mon, 05 Nov 2007 17:58:55 GMT

Yeah so the day started pretty normal... I didn't sleep and as a result I was able to attend my classes on time. However, getting there proved to be... tedious. Once again some retard tried to drive with their dick and received rather poor results... resulting in a traffic jam in which it took me 20 minutes to drive 2 miles. Of course, there was absolutely nothing blocking traffic and all of this was the result of fuckin' rubber-neckers, which annoyed me more. Thus, by the time I reached my class I was already in an agitated state(a state that I am not too fond of but tend to frequent more than I would like).
As I was slowly calmin' down through meditation and other zen-shite I received some information that totally shattered any of my attempts and caused me to fall into a further state of agitation. This little information was my overall grade in Japanese.. which was a suprising 68.8 . I understand that my attendance may affect this somewhat, but my overall scores have been far better than this. What made it more annoying was the timing, she gave it now when there isn't much left in the class that will allow me to bring it up. This was enough to label today as one of my "shit days".
In other news...not sure good or bad. I have some kind of appointment with UPS tomorrow about a potential job. The really nasty part is that this appointment is at 5:30 in West Columbia... a rather annoying time for me. Another thing that makes me wary of the whole thing is the fact that I was granted this appointment immediately after I finished my online application... meaning this might all be a lame fuckaround. I am still debating about whether or not I will grace them with my presence and risk wasting what little gas I already have.

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 22:26:09 GMT

Mwahahhahaha! Well as some of you may know today is my birthday, I am now 24... yeah depressing. I also finally had shoulder surgery about two weeks ago so I have my left arm stuck in a fucking sling for at least four more weeks(making this post is highly annoying when I can only type with one hand). Oh yeah... I also started my schoolin' again...so wish me luck with all that.
Well on to the important stuff!! I recently became bored with my facial hair and decided to try something new. Below is the happy result of my experiment and I would like my friends' opinions of the new look(non-friends can still comment but they will be ignored as the worthless shits they are).

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 16:18:08 GMT

I am a complete fucking asshole and deserve anything that may happen as a result of my fuck up.

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 17:56:28 GMT

aff... it is like almost 2 and here I am bored in the USC Sumter library. Why you ask? Well it seems that I was denied financial aid for this fall due to 2 deficit hours. Well thinkin' that I could just make it up if I took a summer course, my mom made me take a class. Ironically, it doesn't help at all with my financial aid problem... I had to file an appeal for that. So here I am Mon-Thurs from 10:30am to 12:30am learnin' all the borin' crap one would expect from a Introduction to Music class. Now that you all know this it still raises the question as to why I am on a computer in the damn library and not at home or hangin' out with somebody. Well I felt that goin' home would be a waste of time, energy, and gas... and it seems none of my fuckin' friends like to wake up anytime soon. Heh~ can't really blame them... if my parents were gone and I didn't have this damn class to go to I would probably be asleep right now too. Nonetheless it sucks and I am bored. Hence the reason for this post... this has killed about 10 minutes out of my life... damn... this was totally not worth it.

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 10:38:44 GMT

My god... I just had the worse fuckin' dream of my life.... words can't describe this. In fact... it is just so hard to explain but I can't go to sleep... not again. I feel so fuckin' disoriented right now... almost drunk. I will tell about the worse parts though: It was a dream within a dream within a dream... once I got out of the first cycle of dreams I awoke in a house that I completely thought was mine. However I kept gettin' flashes of dreams when I was awake or thought I was awake. Then my father came to wake me up and said mom had something really important to tell me. When I went into the kitchen my mom was on the floor cryin' and in hysterics sayin' she got addicted to some drug called "effedrin". All the sudden I got another one of my dream attacks. A turkey pan and baister attacked me and cringed away crying just to have it disappear and my parents lookin' at me like I was crazy. I then went back to bed where my mom suddenly came rushin' in and I was goin' to ask her about the incident in the kitchen when my father suddenly followed her and blew off her head with a shotgun. I remember cryin' out but pretending that it was all just a paranoid dream. However when I opened my eyes I saw my father leaving my room and he came back with an axe and swung it at my neck. The last thing I remember was the feeling of the axe tip touching my throat and me screaming "no...stop!".

This is when I woke up for real... it took me about 5 minutes to figure out I wasn't still asleep and get over the disorientation I was feeling. In fact I still can't tell if I am truly awake. I mean it was so fuckin' real... there was so much more to the dream than that and all the emotions were totally authentic. I even reacted and said shit entirely like I would in real like... like some fuckin' guy puked on me(don't ask) and I remember screaming at him that it looked like I fuckin' fisted an Oatmeal Monster... that is one of those fuckin' random things I would say. God....I don't know if I am goin' to sleep for a while... that shit was way too scary....

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 10:30:54 GMT

Well this sucks... can't get to sleep again. Ever since Sami and I broke up I haven't had a decent nights sleep. I guess I keep thinkin'/worryin' about shit even though I don't want to and when I do finally get some sleep I am constantly wakin' up. Gah~ maybe I should invest in some Ny-Quil or something... or find something to occupy my time.

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 09:29:13 GMT

Yeah so today went better... much better than yesterday. Kinda' glad I didn't shave my head... that would have looked weird. However, I did do something just as shockin' and drastic... I shaved off my facial hair. Yeps, one of the rarest things that you have ever seen me do... this is the second time I have done it in 5 years... don't know what to think of it myself. Oh wells... new me. Hopefully I shall have pictures so everybody can laugh at them.

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 10:24:57 GMT

Yeah so I got uber depressed for my own reasons and I decided to shave my head... but my trimmer didn't work... tried a few times but my hair kept gettin' caught in it. Maybe it wasn't meant to be... all I know is that depression + alcohol=nothin' good. Guess I should be glad I didn't try to slit my wrists... sure a razor would have been far more receptive than my trimmer. I would write more but I am far too depressed/drunk to do so. I am goin' to pass out... maybe if I am lucky I won't wake up.

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 05:00:27 GMT

Ahhh... the ever rare post by yours truly. I do apoligize for my inactivity on LJ, which is due to three main reasons:
1. I don't want to read about others lives since I feel guilty for not particating in them.
2. I do not post because my life has been about as interesting as an instruction manual.
3. Due to the lack of Adderal, I no longer possess the attention span that is needed to read many words.

However, despite these main factors, I am still writing this post. Probably mostly to force upon you all my mediocre prose so I can make myself feel "clever". As such, I shall now recap the past few months. The past few months I have lived in forced exile living off of a died susisting of Ramen, water, and cigarettes waiting for the ever-elusive unemployment check while avoiding anything that can be considered good hygeine. Mainly I sit at this computer watching an inexhaustable ammount of Anime or playin' a free online game called Tibia. On the rare occasions that I do have gas in the car I try to spend time with my girlfriend. This has been my life.
However, there is some ray of sunshine casting down on this pile of cat shit(probably a gift Halloween left us on the oriental rug). After my countless battles with the Unemployment Agency I should be receiving my check next week. With this I may finally be able to pay of my ever-increasing debt, go back to school, and actually see people. I did want to write more about the trials I went through today and how through it all I remained abnormally happy like a 50s housewife on Prozac... but I have kinda' lost the willpower to do so. Heh~ sorry... maybe another day... or month. Now I shall go back to my sad life of anime and Tibia while you all live your lives and wait with hushed anticipation for my next post.

Random though: For a while now everytime I walk around I always get the song "Staying Alive" in my head... gimme a can a paint in my hands and I am so fuckin' Travolta(even though I am not a fan of early Travolta... except for Welcome Back Kotter, that show owned).

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 11:00:16 GMT

Well today has been... interesting to say the least. Not good... definitely not good... just interesting. I guess that is the best way I can put it right now... I still think I am kinda' in shock... you know like a numbness in place of how you really should feel. I know that soon my true feelings will ambush me but right now I am numb. Heh~ bet most of ya' are wondering what the fuck would make me feel like this(then again, a good percentage probably don't give a flyin' fuck), well it isn't anything overly terrible like both of my parents died in a plane crash beside their other lovers or that I miscarried... nothin' like that. I just lost my job... well fired actually.

Yeps... I got canned... kinda' expected it though. I mean I was one like uber-final-you-fuck-up-again-you-fired-probation. I mean I was goin' to be on it for a year... and I have a tendency to fuck up on a monthly basis. Still... it sucks. I guess what really pisses me off is for the goddamn stupid ass reason I got fired. I got fired for jumpin' on and ridin' a cage cart... an entirely idiot thing that only I could think(or not think) to do. It isn't like I have never done this before... I have done it the whole two years I worked there.

However, this time that fat fuck GL Andre saw me do it with his fat-filled eyes. That fuckin' turd isn't even my GL but the retard in charge of Warehouse. However, bein' that the only thing he is good at is gettin' people fired he took it upon himself to see this happen to me. I am not totally blamin' the fuck, I know it was my own stupidity... but I still want to drop kick that fat right out of the mother fucker. I mean totally Romper Stomper Joe Pesci kick the fuck-tard until his jelly-filled blood is all over my shoes. Nonetheless... the end result is Aaron has joined the numerous proud ranks of the unemployed.

I can honestly say that I am fuckin' lost right now... I mean this was the one thing I thought I was doin' right... the one stable fuckin' thing in this short life full of fuck-ups. Nope... I guess I fucked this up to. Now what, huh? I mean I actually like workin' there. I mean I liked my co-workers and my job... now all of that is gone. I don't know how to fuckin' tell my parents... I already feel like they think I am a failure already. I mean I might have fucked up school right nicely, but at least I kept my job. Now I don't even have that... I am gettin' tired of disappointing them. Hell I am tired of disappointing myself. I don't want to end up like this... jobless and barely in college... that is not where I want to be. I know I gotta' tell them sometime... but not right now. Right now I am just goin' to pretend like I still have a job so I don't have to see the shame in their eyes... I can't take that right now.

Another problem is my fucked up shoulder. When I was workin' there I was on worker's comp. so they were payin' for everything. Now I am in the middle of getting and MRI and maybe even an operation and now I have no job. I don't know if they are still goin' to pay to fix it or whether I have to do that all myself... I mean I am kinda' stuck. I got a fucked up shoulder so findin' a job is goin' to be difficult and I don't even know if I can afford to pay to fix it.

Bloody hell... I am tired of bitchin'... it ain't makin' me feel better that is for sure. I will just go to sleep... wait until Monday and go to the unemployment office and just pick up the pieces of this busted-ass puzzle the best that I can.

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 17:35:12 GMT

I am kinda' gettin' bored with how I look... I think I will "accidentally" lose an eye... the right one. That oughta' spice things up a bit.

For some reason I feel dumber today... hope that won't be a trend

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 17:32:57 GMT

Hmmm... don't really feel like posting but I do kinda' need something to break the monotony. It would be a lie to say that I haven't had the chance to get on or haven't been on a computer... 'cause I usually spend the majority of my time on the computer at home. However, I spend that time on the ever-important act of watching anime. Thus, I do not have the time or the... concentration to communicate via internet. Yeah... I am a bastard, piss off.

Besides the rather boring life(much due to my own actions) I am currently living, nothin' much has changed...well it has, but then it changed back to normal(thus, there is no point in even aknowledging the change). Works sucks even worse since now I am currently on light duty... meaning I sweep floors and whatever other bitch jobs those fucking sadist concoct for me. My reliable steed(ie car) decided to die at work Saturday and is still there. Goin' to fuck with that after school... I like procrastinating. School still sucks as school always does, just in varying degrees of suckitude. Sami and I are doin' well(at least as far as I can tell), despite Sami's most recent frustrations in her own life. Crap on this... I keep giving vague details about my dull life and I don't really feel like doin' it anyways... fuckin' bastards keep tryin' to trick me for the secret formula! Well it won't work! I am on to you little tricks! So fuck you and your little fuckin' goat!

On a happy side-note: Jenn, sorry for the lack of communication lately. I just want you to know that your cat Halloween is still alive and if you ever want to see her again you shall give me $10000 for room and board... or at least some Pocky.

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 16:48:41 GMT

God hates people who are stupid.

Tue, 13 Sep 2005 16:46:29 GMT

Well this has been an annoying week so far. I decided to do the fuckin' dumbest think I could and slept in late Sunday. I woke up about and hour and a half late for work and due to the fact that I was already on final probabation(basically... fuck up again and you fired), I was shittin' myself. What made it worse is that not only did I have to work that night, but I wouldn't discover whether or not I got fired until my arrival to work the next day. Luckily, some luck came my way and I was able to keep my job. Obviously they realized I was the back-bone to the DC and if they fired me the whole damn place would collapse(probably more or less due to the fact I would fuckin' blow it up or something flashy like that...heh~ I kid). Now I just got finished with this damn take-home quiz. A lot better than taking it in class but annoying nonetheless. Now all I gotta' worry about is the shit-load of bills I have to pay this month, one particularly large one due on my fuckin' birthday... happy fuckin' birthday, huh? The shits...

Aaron Goes to the Mall

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 16:32:41 GMT

*Blargh* So yeah... another Tuesday, another post. What shall this post be about you ask? Heh~ so do I... it is like a outside force is using me as a typewriter... clickin' on my brain makin' me type this shit. I am all well and okie with that... but it could try to make a little more sense sometimes(maybe all of this shit is really a coded message to the secrets of the universe~whoa...tangent). Nonetheless... as pornstars like to say, on with the show.

I just got back from visiting the wonderous materialistic world that is the Sumter Mall. Yeps... Aaron willingly entered a mall. Now this should not be the thing that confuses you the most, but rather... isn't he supposed to be in class? The answer is yes and no. I AM supposed to be in Philosophy. However, I dropped out of it for...personal reasons(in other words, the fuckin' class was too fuckin' aggravating and I really didn't want to have to study my ass off just to ensure I pass the damn class... I already stated logical thinking wasn't me). Now of course I did not inform my parents on this course of action and I strongly encourage others not to either(*cough* sis). In case you missed that pathetic innuendo... don't fuckin' tell the 'rents sis! I doubt that you would seriously consider it, but if you do I will tell them that you are pregnant and I know you don't want that gettin' out.

Back on topic... so I went to the mall to procure We Love Katamari, the sequel to Katamari Damacy(if you don't know what that is you obviously are a loser and should kill yourself immediately. Heh~ I kid... just maim yourself). HOWEVER, I was sad to learn that it did not come out today, but will come out the 21st(sorry slutface). Yes, for all of those anticipating its release, you gotta' wait a little longer. Now you know... get on with your lives. Go play WOW or something in the meantime.

So biting back the urge to end my life by slitting my wrist with a shattered copy of Drake of the 99 Dragons, I went and ate mediocre chinese food(with free eggroll!) and went to FYE for some ungodly reason. *sigh* it is pathetic to see how many bands I listen to can now be found in FYE and also that when they can be they are already on the rightous path of suckitude(Boysnightout). Yeah so I skipped around their for a while fertilizing their carpet with my feces and decided I shall by the new From Autumn to Ashes since I have been listening to the same 3 CDs for a couple of months and wanted something new. Yeah... so that about ends my grand adventure. Didn't find the Holy Grail or nothin' but I did stare into the Abyss and return.

Tue, 30 Aug 2005 16:34:50 GMT

Hooray for another update. You know... I was goin' to update on my current status in philosophy and my newly acquired knowledge in computer and PS2 hardware... but I don't feel like it anymore. Hell, I barely feel like writing a post. However, since my fans do so love to read my ramblings I shall continue. Crap... I am kinda' out of shit to say. Wait, I recall something of importance.... ummm... my mother is coming home tomorrow instead of next Wednesday, so this kinda' throws my whole damn week off-kilter. Gotta' clean my room and car... and comb my hair... and maybe wash it too.

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 16:32:17 GMT

Grrr... I should have known Philosophy was goin' to be a nut-buster of a course. When I signe up for it, I was thinkin' what the hell, it is a class on how to think. I do that all the time. However, now that I have actually attended the class, I have discovered it is not as much a class on how to think but how to think logically. As many of you know, I am not exactly the most logical person. In fact, one of my favorite passtimes is practicing illogical logic(so in this sense, I am). Philosophy is also a class about details, where wording is just as important as the statement you make. Great... I am a fuckin' genius at details. *sigh* this is goin' to be a long semester.

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 16:46:19 GMT

Well the word of the day is first impressions(I know that is two words...piss off). People tend to judge others based on their first impressions, thus the majority of people try to make a good impression on people(myself excluded... I tend to be as tactless as ever). I am proud to admit that today I have achieved the polar opposite. Yes, that is correct... on my first fuckin' day of class I was asleep in my bed having a rather disturbing dream. I did talk to my professor after class and he seemed pleasant enough and gave me the papers he handed out in class... but I can't say that I served as a shining example of the model student. At least I will be on time for my next class... so one out of two isn't bad...shit.

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 17:16:31 GMT

Yes after a long vacation from the LJ world, I have finally returned(at least for this post). Why have I returned you ask? Why to sodomize the minds of the young and old and to make all orifices painfully and violently shudder in anticipation. Not specific enough? Well then you ignorant lawn monkees, I will be blunt. I am officially goin' back to college.

Yes after two years of carefully planned procrastination and self-sabotage(Ahhh... what a fun 2 years), I finally got off my lazy ass and applied a large amount of concentration and effort I usually only reserve for goin' to the bathroom(you know... this is a damn long sentence... wonder if it is grammatically correct). This involved getting up early, keeping appointments, and following things through... all things that I am notorious for not doin'. Seein' as I have not exercised my brain in a while, I decided to only take two classes: Philosophy and Sociology. I was thinkin' a Religion class, but for some reason I doubt my views would be... appreciated to say the least. So classes start this Thursday, so send your love and support to me like a big fuckin' flashlight so that I may bask in the light during these dark time(for these are truly dark times).

Random comment: Ahahahaha! Firkin! This word makes me laugh and I have no idea what it means!
So it seems that this is a firkin:

Sat, 11 Jun 2005 10:09:53 GMT

I came upon a realization. Not an epiphany that changes the way I view the world or the world itself, but a personal realization (which I feel is the more important of the two). I have begun to realize that you don't really strive to achieve a balance within one's self, but rather an understanding and acceptince of one's imbalance. With this thought in mind I have discovered that I do share some common traits with the stereotypical male: I am competitive.

However, this competitive spirit is not fueled by the desire to be the best(most of the time), but rather to be the best I can be (heh~sounds like an ARMY slogan). This is most prevelant in video games, but also in the various other crap that I have interest and experience in. When I discover someone that is better than me in something or who may prove to be a challange, I feel a great sense of anticipation and excitement. It is like all the built up potential energy in my body violently struggles to become kinetic. The more the challange, the greater the feeling. It is not the desire to be better than them that pushes me, but the desire to achieve my full potential. Normally I tend to lack the ambition to improve, feeling that my current level of expertise is sufficient enough for me. However, when I discover a person better than me I realize what my skills could become. This, I feel, is one of the rare things that makes one truly feel alive.

It seems knowing that I am competitive is only part of the puzzle. Though I may have the interests, my lack of experience holds me back. I feel that there is no point in competing if I lack the necessary knowledge to do so. However, I seem to lack the ambition or courage to obtain that knowledge. In order to fully realize my potential, I must first find a way to push myself to learn.

On a random note(at least to the post above anyways), I remember one time when I electrocuted myself on some faulty wiring(not fatally of course). I remember when it happened, it felt like time slowed down. I could feel the electricity travel up my hand, to my head, and finally down to my legs. I also remember feeling the electricity leave my feet and travel into the ground. Oddly enough, I must admit it was somewhat enjoyable. I mean while the electricity traveled through my body, I could feel and sense things in my body that I never could before. It kinda' made me more aware of myself in a strange sort of way. Also, when it flowed from my feet to the floor, I felt a connection with the ground. It almost felt like a part of me... I mean I could feel the electricity travel through the ground even as it left me. I sometimes wish I could experience this again, but I am not fuckin' dumb enough to actually electricute myself willingly.

Sun, 29 May 2005 10:40:28 GMT

I had a strange dream last night. I was driving by a beach(strange in its own sense since I not particularly fond of the beach) and I took a back road. I guess the road was kinda' flooded because I was trying to drive through one of the flooded areas and all the sudden the car fell into a deep chasm. With reflexes and agility one can only have in a dream, I was able to jump out of the car safely before it fell. I then got it towed out of the chasm and was suprised to find out it only cost me $30 to do so. Even stranger, when I got back in the car it was all dry.

Yeah so I pissed myself off at work thinkin' about shit that hasn't happened again. I really gotta' stop doin' that... but that is kinda' what happens when I am given a lot of time to think. I guess I have a lot of shit on my mind... and I don't even know where to start trying to sort it out and put to words. Thus I shall be the lazy fuck and not even try right now. Let's just say it is a bunch of different feelings: helplessness, fear, hope, depression, frustration, confusion, apathy, anger, loneliness, etc. You know... all those fuckin' feelings that an emotionally unbalanced person under various forms of stress would feel. Fuck... I need to find some kinda' way to calm down. I dunno... something like yoga, meditation, tai chi, or smoking pot.

"I know you have a heavy heart, I can feel it when we kiss. So many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift... it."

Tue, 24 May 2005 12:46:59 GMT

I feel kinda' strange right now... then again it isn't that strange since I seem to feel this way often. If there is anymore point to this post well I guess it will be made by what I will write. However, at this time all it is about is that I feel strange.
It's weird... I only seem to really feel this when I am alone, maybe being alone is the whole reason I feel this way in the first place. It's not loneliness... I rarely feel that. I guess all the time I spent alone growing up kinda' tought me not to be that way. It is more of a feeling that I don't ever really belong. Kinda' like a self-induced form of ostracism. Even around friends I feel this, though I don't really think about it until I am alone. It is kinda' like no matter what, I still don't feel like part of the group. Maybe it has to do with my childhood and what-not. I mean in school I was always kinda' odd. Hell I guess you can say I am still a little strange. Anyways, as a result I never really fit in very well. I was that kid that kinda' fit in everywhere, but never really belonged anywhere.
I guess I am the amalgamation of a lot of shit. A mixture of a lot of things, but not part of a whole thing. A kinda' blending of cultures and sub-cultures. I couldn't ever really fit into one group because there was another part of me that was from another group. Heh~ then again there are some groups that I will never be comfortable around. Oh well, I kinda' like it this way. Even though I will never really ever feel completely part of any group, I am part of it nonetheless. I can live with that.

Mon, 23 May 2005 10:43:24 GMT

Yeah so there seems to be a lot of things I wish lately. I wish this will happen, I wish that this won't happen. I wish I didn't do this thing, I wish I did do that thing. Right now I wish I had a fuckin' tail 'cause it would rock to have a fuckin' tail. Then again... I would have to buy tail-friendly pants and I am not sure if there is a store that specializes in that. Oh wells... its kinda' pointless to wish anything right now 'cause its all daylight and you can't wish if there are no stars now can ya'? Damn fuckin' stars.

Sun, 22 May 2005 10:51:09 GMT

You know... one day I am actually goin' to write a happy post. It is goin' to start like "Dear Livejournal world, I am happy". However, today is not that day. Instead I shall put that down at the bottom of a very long list of things I mean to do.
Yeah, I did a stupid thing today at work... I started thinking about "What-if?"s again. Yet again I thought about it so much that it became more real to me than actual reality. So of course I got perturbed and of course that eventually led me to become depressed. So here I am writing this post all depressed over shit that hasn't even happened(as if I couldn't find enough shit to depress me that I gotta' start makin' shit up). I just want someone to wrap their arms around me and tell me that it was all a bad dream and that it will all go away. However, that kinda' 50s Leave it to Beaver shit doesn't exist anymore. If it did I wouldn't have to write this shit now would I? No... in today's society this kinda' comfort is given out in doses. The comfort and love we used to find from our family or loved ones has now become a mass produced pill for our convenience. Yep...this has truly become a perfect world. A world without orphans, for now a child can have a whole family of pills... at least for a price.

"We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul"